An apology to my mother

9 June 2019|Health

My mum in her 40’s in a dress she made herself to go to events when my dad was chairman of the council – which is the mayor by another name.

I think in many ways we all have apologies to our mums to make, and the amazing thing is with mums, forgiveness always seems to come.  Sadly my mum is no longer with us passing at the age of 86 a few years ago.  

So this apology ( I have many  – does that surprise you? ) is for not fighting for her when it came to her health, for not doing my research when I should of, for just believing the Dr over and over again. I have had my penance though, as I now am affected by the some issues as she had, although I have been lucky and found treatment. 

This post is really about the vitamin B12 and the life destroying effects being deficient can have, of course if that had been the title you may not have started reading, as most of us have no idea just how vital this vitamin is to our health and dismiss it as something we need to learn about. 

For me this journey stated when I had my stroke, I then got lots of tests as the Drs couldn’t work out why I had a stroke and why I had so many hundreds of microbleeds across my brain when they did an MRI. Eventually I was found to have a B12 level of 104 (range 150 – please note ranges are different across the country which can make getting treated really difficult) the optimal level is 450 for good health – ref Sally Pacholok. 

Before my stroke how had I been feeling? well rubbish to be honest, I thought it was just stress,  things I was complaining of included,  sinus pain, vertigo, itching, blurry vision, floaters in my vision,  balance, pins and needles, fatigue, disturbed sleep, anxiety, hair falling out, restless legs, memory issues,  geographic tongue – very sore! If I had gone to my GP with this list I would have been told they didn’t have time to look at all of these issues individually.  And that’s true GPs have very little time for each patient (but funding isn’t the fault of our GP’s), they also have very little training on B12 and its effects, so it just isn’t something they will connect up. And that’s the important bit  – looking at all symptoms together  not individually 

After my stroke when it was found I was b12 deficient I was lucky enough to have a friend who pointed me in the direction of of course she had done that before my stroke  – knowing the things to look out for – and I had ignored her……..

But it meant I could follow the instructions to get started on the  correct treatment, Following loading B12 doses from my GP I now self inject B12 every other day, It has been 22 months since my B12 treatment started, and as long as I keep up with the injections and the other supplements I am slowly seeing improvements. Sadly nothing will repair the stroke damage to my brain, but it could of been so much worse, I regard my self as very very  lucky. 

And back to that apology, well mum had had all of those symptoms and so many more, she kept going back to the Dr and the list of tablets kept getting longer, she didn’t question the Dr as she loved the NHS and trusted them, this should be our starting point as the NHS is truly amazing.

But I could of done some research, I could of listened more when she quietly complained, making so little fuss, I now know she must of been in so much pain, she had a swollen tongue like mine and its truly horrid. I am in no doubt she was B12 deficient, she was told she had a “type of anemia”, but received no treatment for it.

So to my wonderful mum, I am truly sorry I did not help more, I am truly sorry I did not find out more, I am truly sorry that you didn’t get relief from the pain. I just didn’t know what I know now.

And to the rest of you – well I will keep on and on and on about B12 and its importance, because if it helps just one person it will have been worth boring the pants of the rest of you!   the website for correct information  – donate to help the research if you can 

Really good video that explains B12D  – it is pay to view but the money is being donated to the B12deficiency website  – and very worth watching. 

3 thoughts on “An apology to my mother”

  1. Thanks for writing this very special “letter” …what a beautiful lady your Mum was. It’s so difficult to know what’s going on inside our bodies isn’t it. Many of the doctors, in the early 1900s, used to take into consideration all of a person’s problems to build a picture of what the actual problem was …unfortunately this is a rare skill these days. God bless you


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